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On Valentine's Day, there's the temptation to believe that somewhere out there is "The One": a soulmate, a perfect match, the person you were meant to be with.
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Carroll's argument draws on decades of research, which he put together in his report, The Soulmate Trap, much of which distinguishes between what psychologists call "destiny beliefs" - the idea that the right relationship should feel effortless - and "growth beliefs", which focus on what partners can do to make things work.